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Preparing for a Better End: Expert Lessons on Death and Dying for You and Your Loved Ones [Hardback]

4.29/5 (41 ratings by Goodreads)
  • Format: Hardback, 272 pages, height x width x depth: 229x152x23 mm, weight: 454 g, 3 Line drawings, black and white; 2 Halftones, black and white
  • Pub. Date: 12-Jan-2021
  • Publisher: Johns Hopkins University Press
  • ISBN-10: 1421439166
  • ISBN-13: 9781421439167
  • Hardback
  • Price: 31,15 €
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  • Format: Hardback, 272 pages, height x width x depth: 229x152x23 mm, weight: 454 g, 3 Line drawings, black and white; 2 Halftones, black and white
  • Pub. Date: 12-Jan-2021
  • Publisher: Johns Hopkins University Press
  • ISBN-10: 1421439166
  • ISBN-13: 9781421439167
"This book is a comprehensive guide to end-of-life planning and care. The authors provide a practical look at medical and legal obstacles that can complicate a person's death. The book features images, forms, cautionary tales, and a table comparing MOLSTto POLST, two kinds of advance directives"--

While modern Americans strive to control nearly every aspect of their lives, many of us abandon control of life's final passage. But the realities of twenty-first-century medicine will allow most of us to have a say in how, when, and where we die, so we need to make decisions surrounding death, too. Or those decisions may be made for us. Threading compelling real-life stories and practical guidance throughout, this book helps readers navigate end-of-life care for themselves and their loved ones.

In this practical guidebook, Dr. Dan Morhaim and Shelley Morhaim offer readers hope, empowerment, and inspiration. What we choose for our end-of-life care, they assert, depends on accurate information and on our personal values. We need these not only to understand new medical advances but also to appreciate the wisdom of humanity's past and present.

Dan Morhaim, an emergency medicine physician and former Maryland state legislator, guides readers through the medical, legal, and financial maze of end-of-life care. He details the care choices available to patients and explains why living wills and advance directives are a necessity for every American. He tells readers where to find free and readily available living wills and advance directives and why it is so important for everyone—young and old—to complete them. Meanwhile, Shelley Morhaim draws on her experience as a therapeutic music practitioner for hospice and hospital patients to offer compassion to readers facing hard decisions.

The authors reflect on a number of timely topics, including

• what doctors—including Dr. Morhaim specifically—want for themselves in terms of end-of-life care
• how legislative initiatives on assisted dying vary by state
• how to obtain medical orders for life-sustaining treatment (MOLST/POLST)
• how to deal with dementia
• what to expect from palliative and hospice care
• how to cope with pain at the end of life, including with medical cannabis and narcotics
• how organ donation and body disposition work
• how to communicate individual needs to lawyers, physicians, and family members
• how to make decisions when selecting the best care for yourself and others

and more.

Organized as a roadmap that people should follow when they plan end-of-life care and contingencies, this book helps readers keep decisions in their own hands and spare their families the uncertainty and trauma of guessing about their end-of-life wishes. Breaking down the barriers to a difficult but essential topic, Preparing for a Better End helps readers open this often-avoided discussion with their loved ones while providing the information and guidance needed to ensure that deeply held values are reflected and honored.

Praise for the Author

"In The Better End, Dr. Morhaim helps the reader to see that while death does have its sting, it need not be bitter, and each of us can prepare for the end in better ways."—Maya Angelou

"Dan Morhaim's message is a must read for anyone who is facing end-of-life crisis issues and concerns, whether it be for themselves or for a family member or loved one. When so many others shun away from the topic, Dan Morhaim addresses the situation with clarity, insight, and sensitivity."—Montel Williams

More info

A vital roadmap to planning your own end-of-life care.
Introduction. Why Not the Best of Both Worlds? 1(12)
Chapter 1 My Dog Got Better Care Than My Mother
13(26)
The Basics: Life, Death, and Planning
13(4)
How Can We Know the Right Choice?
17(2)
Two Personal Experiences That Changed My Life
19(4)
My Dog Got Better Care Than My Mother
23(2)
The Story of Alberta Cole: Not Deciding Is a Decision
25(14)
Chapter 2 Taking Charge: Advance Directives and Choosing the Care You Want
39(16)
The Story of Michael Martinez and His Decision
39(7)
Advance Directives: Treatment Preferences
46(2)
Example of Treatment Preference Choices
48(2)
CPR: Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation
50(2)
Nourishment and Water or Not
52(3)
Chapter 3 A Different Choice: Do Everything
55(13)
The Story of Joseph Kranz and His Decision
55(6)
How to Decide: Weighing Priorities
61(1)
What about Surgery in Older Adults?
62(3)
Choosing Helps Make Happen What You Want to Happen
65(3)
Chapter 4 Cure vs. Healing: Palliative Care and Hospice
68(13)
Palliative Medicine, or Supportive Care
68(4)
Hospice Care: I Should Have Called Sooner
72(5)
Spiritual Needs
77(1)
What Doctors Want for Themselves
78(3)
Chapter 5 Whom Do You Trust? Choosing Your Health Care Agent
81(22)
The Story of Dave and Jackie Stevenson
81(5)
Dave's Decision about Organ Donation
86(1)
Second Part of an Advance Directive
87(1)
Making Your Advance Directive Work for You
88(3)
I Had a Learning Experience
91(1)
MOLST/POLST: What Are They?
92(5)
A Legislative Story: My Good Bill Was a Flop
97(3)
Death Panels: Setting the Record Straight
100(3)
Chapter 6 It's Not Just about Old People: When Tragedy Strikes the Young
103(15)
When Things Get Tough
103(1)
Three Famous Cases
104(1)
Karen Ann Quinlan's Story
105(3)
Nancy Cruzan's Story
108(2)
Theresa Marie (Terri) Schiavo's Story
110(2)
This Is Important for Young People Too
112(2)
The Medical Team and Your Key Questions
114(2)
No One Should Die Alone
116(2)
Chapter 7 No Easy Answers: Dementia, the System, and Getting It Right
118(19)
The Dementia Challenge
118(2)
Ronald Reagan Tells His Story
120(5)
The Costs of Dementia
125(4)
End-of-Life Care and Economics
129(2)
Impact on the Economy and Businesses
131(3)
National Healthcare Decisions Day
134(2)
Doing It Right: La Crosse, Wisconsin
136(1)
Chapter 8 Assisted Suicide, Assisted Dying, and VSED
137(11)
Assisted Suicide
137(1)
Assisted Dying
138(2)
Assisted Dying: Pros and Cons
140(1)
Brittany Maynard Tells Her Story
141(3)
The Legislation
144(2)
VSED
146(2)
Chapter 9 Pain, Anxiety, and Drugs, Drugs, Drugs
148(24)
The Start of the "War on Drugs"
148(1)
An ER Doctor-Legislator's Approach
149(2)
Treating Pain and Anxiety
151(1)
Nonpharmacologic Methods and OTC Medications
152(1)
Narcotics, Opioids, Sedatives, and Tranquilizers
153(3)
The Pain Issue
156(4)
The How and Why of the US Addiction Epidemic
160(2)
Medical Cannabis and Marijuana
162(10)
Chapter 10 What's Stopping Us
172(10)
Why Don't More Americans Complete Advance Directives?
172(3)
Minority and Diversity Perspectives
175(3)
Compassionomics
178(1)
Ways to Bring the Subject Up
179(3)
Chapter 11 Gifts of Life: Organ Donation, Funerals, and Cemeteries
182(14)
Advance Directives and Organ Donation
182(1)
The US Organ Donation System
182(5)
What Is Brain Death?
187(2)
Whole Body Donation
189(1)
Body Disposition
190(2)
The Downsides of Embalming and Cremation
192(1)
Natural Burial
193(3)
Chapter 12 No Job Is Complete Until the Paperwork Is Done: Making It Legal
196(7)
Making It Legal
196(2)
Online Systems: MyDirectives and Others
198(3)
When You Get to the Hospital
201(2)
Chapter 13 Help, We Need Somebody: Providing Support
203(10)
Being with the Seriously Ill Is Not Easy
203(2)
How You Can Help After Someone Dies
205(3)
Rituals and Customs
208(2)
Plan Your Own Funeral
210(1)
Contemplation: Death and the Miracle of Life
211(2)
Chapter 14 The Better End: Surviving (and Dying) on Your Own Terms in Today's Modern Medical World
213(11)
Abby Miller's Story: A Better End
213(6)
Abby's Decisions
219(2)
Abby's Way
221(3)
Chapter 15 Speaking Personally
224(15)
My Near-Death Experience
224(4)
What I Learned and What I'd Choose for Myself
228(2)
This Is So Important for Ourselves and Our Families
230(9)
Acknowledgments 239(2)
Glossary 241(8)
Resources 249(6)
Index 255
Dan Morhaim, MD is an emergency medicine physician with more than 40 years of front-line clinical experience. He served for 24 years as a Maryland state legislator. Shelley Morhaim, the screenwriter and director of the documentary film The Next Industrial Revolution, is a therapeutic music practitioner for hospice and hospital patients.